A Proper Obituary

Jesus Christ, I feel like crap. I"m freezing, my body is sore and every time I move I feel like my head is about to fall out.
Anyways, I was watching The Martha Stewart Show today and I ABSOLUTELY loved it! I mean I already knew that I loved her magazine, but I never realized just how awesome she is. I wonder if I could write her some letters asking her to invite Ed Helms on her show?

Anyways, my poor pet fish Leonard has passed away. He was a good fish,and he was the oldest in the bowl. But,maybe it was a good thing that he's has passed away, now he can join the great Bea Arthur in the skies above it.

OK, so I am going to go make myself some tea and maybe sweeten it. (Ed Helms Fact:Ed Helms LOVES tea,especially sweet tea.)

"What happened to her curves?....I was talking about the curve of her back you moron!"

Anyways, I've decided that if I ever want to impress a new group of people all I have to do is buy a Backstreet Boys CD. Then, I will take my CD player to school and they will ask me what I am listening to and I will show them and they will like me. Or not.




Elizabeth Baratta is the Bully of BYU.

Warning:Very Creepy

Dear Ed Helms,

                       Don't look any further! I am your woman! I will marry you and we will have a fantastic wedding ! The back of my wedding dress will look like this. (I was going to put up a picture of the entire dress, but that might have led to you looking for the model.)

   Then, we will have kids and when I am pregnant you can kiss my stupid pregnant "belly" and I won't get creeped out! And you could sing to me all the time and I would like it.

But,alas, this will never happen. At least not in this lifetime. Maybe later when I am reincarnated into a young looking Angelica Houston and you still look like yourself. 

I shouldn't have written this. I'm getting pretty sad because I KNOW that Andy Bernard and Erin are going to get together and it's just going to ruin me. (Wipes tear)

I just wanted to publish my love.

I hope this is sexier...

Than Shia LaBeouf's mother. But,that's hard to beat.Anyways, this blog has nothing to do with Shia or his motha. It's about my two favorite states, other then Illinois. AND they are.....Pennsylvania and Georgia.Now let me tell you why

Georgia:

1. Ed Helms:My beloved Edward was born in Atlanta , Georgia. He, in my opinion is Georgia's favorite son. And one day, just maybe, we will have our own son. And when he's eighteen, eighteen he'll have an attitude. Later, nineteen acting snobby lookin' real rude.And he will be named Bear after Bear Grylls. I Love Ed Helms to the tenth degree.

2.Cohutta Lee: My favorite,favorite,favorite reality show star EVER! This young man hails from Blue Ridge,Georgia. Anyways, he has the best accent ever, and he just seems like such a sweetheart. I mean seriously, this guy went on the Real World looking for A WIFE! Classic. He builds houses,eats tree bark and if you say his name really fast it sound like cuddly.

3. After some hours, I have come to the conclusion that they are my second favorite band ever. Words can't even describe how much I love them

4.The best drink ever. And this delicious liquid candy is produced in lovely Atlanta, Georgia. Wonderful.

5. T.I.: Not only did Clifford Harris write the 'Magic Position' he also wrote 'Whatever You Like'! And if I was famous we'd be good friends. Oh the crazy pranks we'd pull. (More on famous best friends later) I can't wait for you to get out of the slammer buddy.

6. Damian Owens: No comment.
But, I'm sure this picture says enough.

(Dear Elizabeth,

Please send me more pictures of Mormon boys. Like Pokemon, I gotta catch 'em all!)

Moving on...

Pennsylvania

1. Asher Roth: He is quite the cutie. And I love the song 'Be By Myself' featuring Cee-lo. However, not so awesome his watch ads for some watch company. He looks best when he has clothes on. I hope Asher Roth Never reads this.

2. York, PA: There's a store there called Giant. This photograph is a representation of my cousin Melina Gandarilla who used to live there.She was totally in love with Honest Abe. Also, Josiah Warren.

3.It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: I LOVE THIS SHOW! Seriously, the scene where Charlie says that his interests are ghouls has been making me laugh for a week. And my grandmother looks like Danny Devito

4. Bradley Cooper:If I was famous I know for a fact that he would be my best friend. We would look through yearbooks, go shopping, watch Project Runway...everything that best friends do together. He'd be the one who introduces me to Ed Helms...ahhhhh.If only.

This blog sucked.

Anyways, I'll leave you with these parting words:I'm a P-I-M-P. With diamonds all in my teeth. I step in the light man , my mouth be shining.

This last picture is dedicated to my sweet and sassy father.

And I'm There...

Isn't is just so amazing how much Dhani Harrisson looks like his dad?
The answer is yes.

Anyways, I went to the Wilco show last night. They were great,as always.
Jeff Tweedy was wearing some pretty awesome booties, they looked like the pair that will be arriving at my house in about a month. (FUCK YOU J.CREW!) I bet if Michelle Obama ordered these boots they wouldn't tell HER that they were on back order! Now, you may be thinking: Cristina, she's the first lady of the country. Bollocks! I'm the President of Ed Helms on Ice Land! (This rant is not about Michelle Obama, it is about J.Crew.)
Moving on, I think it's time that we talk about something very important: Dolphins. You may be wondering, Where does this fan club stand on dolphins, should us followers love or hate them? As President, I say we are indifferent to them. 2 reasons: 1.(ED HELMS FACT ALERT!) Ed Helms is indifferent about dolphins. 2. I've been hearing some rumors that dolphins are the future

Welcome!!!!

If you are reading this page you were one of the chosen few who was asked to join my awesome Ed Helms fan club.
In other words I Love You!
Anywhoozles, this my awesome new blog/fan club!

(*OK,before I continue this about me section thing has anyone else seen the Lady Gaga Paparazzi video? The triplets from Daisy of Love were totally in that video.)

Ok, so about the fan blog, it's going to be totally awesome. I,Cristina Isabel Gandarilla, am the President/Vice President. And Allie Curry is my assistant/Speaker of the House of Representatives. hehhehheh.

About me: Well, I love Ed Helms times infinity. "I am a tiger! Only Kidding! I used to be a tiger but I'm not anymore!" OK, and if you try to steal my man (Ed Helms) I will go Norman Bates all over you! Well, I wouldn't, but my feeling would be hurt. And I love Michael Showalter's awkward body.

Also,someday I plan to make everyone think that Ed Helms and I are flying away in a balloon, but we will actually just be hiding in an attic.

So, I will be updating this blog pretty soon. I'm not sure when, but I'll Get Busy By sean paul on the next entry soon.(this sentence is a shout out to Jackie Lozano)

And the song you should have kept in mind while reading this was : Quiero Que Me Quieras sung by Gael Garcia Bernal. This is my shout out to my sister and her commi boyfriend. ALSO my Tio Luis Diaz because I'm 5000% sure that if he ever became a famous soccer player he would make this exact music video.